It’s been one year since I came out on Facebook (thanks for the reminder, Facebook), and I almost feel normal.  I was at an event with some women from my support group about a month ago, and I expressed how I feel like I should still be coming to the group.  When I said that, they were surprised because they thought that now I was “out”, everything was fine.  Funny how we perceive people, I had the same thoughts in regards to “out” women when I was still “in”.

Yes, everything is better.  I am not hiding… not nearly as much at least.  I feel like I am finally getting some strength back.  Some strength to take risks, take on something new, maybe come out to some other random people – I don’t know.  But these things take time – I figure they probably take more time the older one gets.  I still am not out to everyone.  I still allow people to assume that I am straight… and single, when I feel it is easier to do so, or when I feel it’s not really their business.  That is fine by me – but there is some stress to it, some navigating.  I still find myself wondering if I’m being too gay, or acting too straight in any given scenario… how much of myself to I let out in this situation or that situation?

I think this is just me being new to it.  I think this is the norm for people who have been out for ages.  But it is definitely a process – a process I look forward to working through.  It does get easier for the most part.