Maybe once I am done examining myself, I can move on to something more productive.  I would like to say I have high hopes for 2017.  I would like to say I will get it all back on track.  All the creative progress, the career progress I made will pick up where I left off…  But I have a suspicion that it might not be so simple.  It is possible that I am changed in such a way that I will have to find a new approach to everything.   I am not sure – but it feels weird to me to have one part of my life change in such a major way and then have everything else remain the same.  Shouldn’t it all start to peel away – all the pieces?

I find myself hesitating – afraid to make choices, worried that I will end up so far down the wrong path that righting my wrong will involve completely uprooting my life.  Again.

I am working on a different mindset.  A different thought pattern.  Less defeatist.  Perhaps these lives are just layers, chapters.  Some chapters sail smoothly from one to the next while others turn everything upside down.  It’s all still the story though.  Necessary growth, growth spurts… plateaus…  Clearly I don’t have this positive outlook worked out just yet.

I used to have something going on… Don’t dwell on the past.

What if nothing comes of any of it… Don’t stress about the future.

But if I only live in the present, how do I have purpose?

Working on the balance of it.