Category: poem

Kissing Frogs

Kissing you is like how I thought it should be

But then I kissed so many frogs

I forgot what I knew

And kissing green seemed normal

Became normal – I stopped questioning

Now I remember the dreams the original dreams

Of lust and love and the magic in between

You bring out my insecurity

It’s easy to be confident standing beside a frog

But now I remember the girl, kissing her reflection

With all the hope, but not enough questions

And all the enthusiasm to master the expected.

But enough about me…

photo-1

I want to look outward

Yes, I know – the entire universe is inside of me

But it gets lonely in here

and crazy

and suffocating.

What about you?

What kind of universe is inside of you?

I have trekked around in my own mind for so long

circling and digging and questioning and studying

I am almost lost inside of these habits.

Contentment and self love were the goals

but now I am wondering

What kind of planet do you live on?

What are the trees like there?  Do they burn red

when the seasons are changing?

When it rains – if it rains – does the damp sink in so deep

that you forget what the sun feels like?

Is there warmth?  Does your sun shine bright for you?

And does God exist?  Or have you figured that out yet…

Is there anything missing, or are you full up…

These are the things I would like to know.

Maybe I could visit your planet, your universe for a while.

Mine has become both crowded and empty.

I can’t quite explain it.  But I’d rather not dig any further

today.

Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen knew about some things

About the truth of subtle moments

The aching carried in small gestures.

 

I sing and am reminded of Toronto

There’s something that hangs in his words

about love and passion and longing

That reminds me of being in that city

And wanting to love someone

And loving a few

But knowing or hoping there was more.

 

So now I say I am gay.

The shoe fits.

But what was I before?

I don’t think I was lying

I just did not know

Most of the time.

 

The last time I saw you you looked so much older…

 

Time passes and friendships become chapters and stories.

Like when he touched the inside of my knee

And I thought I might be in love.

But that ship has sailed

And I am no longer built in that way

In a way that allows me to believe I could love a man.

 

Me with You

You

You

You and I…

I won’t use four letter words that hold so much weight

So

What can I say?

I am infatuated.

Sounds so trite.

Why is it that the present can only be judged by the future.

Now

I am glad I did not end when I thought I could.

When I thought I was satisfied.

When I thought that there was no more

That I should express gratitude

That I shouldn’t complain

That emptiness was a privilege

And I forgot

Me.

Me

That amazing person that was me

is me

And there are sparkling lights

And your eyes burn in my mind.

I remember now

What the songs are about.

Is this for real

Perhaps the dramatic me never left the building

Perhaps the wild me was simply me

An animal can be tamed, but do they ever lose their instincts.

What kind of damage would I cause this time.

 

That heat has not lived inside me for so long.

—

There is ritual

There is tradition

There is the game

And there is the truth.

All the world is a stage.

Unravelling

 

It is and it isn’t.  It’s a loop hole.  It’s an exception.  Maybe.  It’s an excuse.  It’s an opportunity.  It’s a choice.  It’s a thing.

 

—

Maybe I should have just one glass of wine.  I went swimming.  He got high.  We are travelling in slightly different directions.

 

—

The smoke filled air

Creates a haze

Erasing the smell of her

 

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